My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
