does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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