as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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