I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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