Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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