Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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