o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
That accounts for only three of the penises
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
