Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
How does one acquire holy water?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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