my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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