I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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