i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
