So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
This is the high leading the old right now
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
