Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think I sprained my soul last night
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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