So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
