farters have to be the big spoon...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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