shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize