I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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