As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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