I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
