He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
