apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
