I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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