It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
