Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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