dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
