Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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