What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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