Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
