I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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