The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize