so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
