She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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