He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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