his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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