That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Randomize
