apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
