Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
