Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
