Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
