So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I think I am morally bankrupt
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
