Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize