You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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