I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I party with great urgency now.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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