doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
