i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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