My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
