I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
