What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize