you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
