I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
