finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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