I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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