Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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