There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
