omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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