The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
