your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
