she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize