it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
