My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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