Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Panties = found
Randomize
