I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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