Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just want nice things and good sex
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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